Friday, January 30, 2009


Like I honestly need another thing to distract me from what I really should be doing. I mean, I have a million things to, school work, reading, blogging, serving, praying, checking facebook statuses...oh, and leading an actual face-to-face healthy social life! But I did it again. I got sucked into yet another social-networking site: Twitter. Basically it's like seeing every one's facebook status, Away Message, and gchat comment in one place. Users simply answer the question, "What are you doing?"

I can't resist it. It's like peanut butter M&Ms, garbage reality shows, and chicken nachos. I know that they aren't good for me but I just love them so much and keep coming back for more! And honestly, am I so narcissistic to think that people actually CARE about what I'm doing every single second of the day?! Apparently. Keeping checking, I'll be posting.

LKEllis. In case you wanted to know.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Nothing and Everything

When I left for Rwanda, when I was there, and when I first came home I "knew" the direction of my life. I knew (or at least, had a pretty good idea) of where I would work, where I stood in my relationships, where I was going to live, and the things that I wanted to make a part of my day-to-day. It wasn't like I had the itty-bitty details worked out but I at least knew the direction in which I was moving. And I was excited about that! I mean, really, really excited. But here I am, almost three months later, and absolutely not one of those things has come to fruition and there is the very good chance (some with 100% certainty) that they will not happen. So what now?

It's funny, but my reminder of how good God is and how in control He is of everything came while I was balancing my checkbook the other day. Now, balancing my ledger was a miracle in and of itself (yay for keep resolutions!) but it was more because I was watching an episode of ER on my computer while doing it (I have to make it semi-appealing). Through the opening and closing segments Abby is quoting a piece of what sounds to be poetry. But to an ear that has heard it before it was quickly recognized as parts of the book of Job.

I have always been in love with Job 38-41 when God tells of His power, expanse, and reach. I LOVE IT! It is so humbling but so empowering at the same time. Who in the world am I to question Him? Who am I to determine my own steps? The God who knows when the mountain goats give birth or who know where the storehouses of snow are kept is the same God who knows my inmost being. How amazing is that?

So again, I ask, what now? I don't know. Trust me, I'm waiting in anxious anticipation but that does not mean that I am not trusting completely that God has something. He called me to be a teacher, He called me to the internship last year, He called me to Rwanda...and He has called me here.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year!

I usually have mixed feelings about New Year's. I feel like, because I'm in my 20s, I should do something big and exciting but all I really want to do is just be near people I really enjoy and just "be" with them. This year I had the wonderful opportunity to spend time with people who really mean a lot to me. It was a low-key event - dinner and watching the ball drop with Dick Clark, Ryan Seacrest, and the ever-so-talented Kelly Pickler. At one point in the night, when everyone was sitting around commenting on Katy Perry's wardrobe choices, I smiled to myself and thanked God for the blessed life I live. I am a fortunate girl. I love my life and am so thankful for what it is right here and right now. I am thankful for the people in my life, how I get to spend my days, the house I live in, the physical security that I possess, the possibilities for the future, and so much more. This is exactly where I want to be. I am content here. I am also so thankful for the events of 2008. I was able to be a part of some incredible things, learn good (and sometimes hard) lessons, laugh, love, and wrestle with who I am and what I have been called to do/be. I have felt this way for quite a while now but in that moment it came flooding over me.

The one thing I do not have mixed feelings about is New Year's Resolutions. I LOVE THEM. YAY for goals! I made a list of the goals I want to accomplish in 2009 in the little notebook I keep in my purse. This notebook is full of good quotes, lyrics, books to read, inspirations, and lists. Although it is not exhaustive, here are a few of the goals that I have jotted down for 2009. These are just little things and I specifically set them because I don't feel like they will get in the way of being open to whatever comes along.
  • Visit all Smithsonian Museums, Monuments, and the Botanical Gardens
  • Read 3 books in French
  • Finish a triathlon
  • Finish a ten-miler with a personal best record
  • Write at least 1 hand-written letter per month (I've done two so far this month and it's still the first!)
  • Keep a balanced ledger (this will be my toughest one)
  • Pay off my credit card (See above. The point is that I want to be free to do whatever God calls me to do and to be able to use my resources to bless and equip others for His glory)
  • Plant an herb garden
  • Be a published writer (I'm okay with just an article)
  • Get straight As at GWU
  • Learn more about and apply being a Locavore
  • Eat more naturally (no more surviving off of caramel-covered marshmellows like I have the past week)
  • Blog at least one time per week
  • Follow politics/economics more seriously
  • Do 100 push-ups in a row
  • Build in regular times of silence - including a 3 day retreat

More than anything though, I want to know my God more. I want to fall more and more in love. I want to be shaped, molded, broken, healed, and used. I want to dig into the Word more, have a more active prayer life, and boldly live out my faith. Why settle for paper plates when you can eat off of fine china?!

None of my resolutions or goals are too lofty. I firmly believe that they can be attained and I am so excited for them to come to fruition! I can't wait to see who and what will be a part of this year!